All I've ever wanted
by lustvslove
Summary: He was supposed to be just a one night stand, a heat of the moment fling after too many tequila shots. Natalie had many nights like this before, they all ended the same way..why was this one so different? They couldn't be together, he was married and she was trying to get her life together. They were toxic for one another, but when they were together nothing ever felt more right!


**this is my first story I've ever posted, I've had the idea running through my mind for a few months now so I hope you all enjoy it!**

**i own absolutely nothing except for Natalie Mercer, the rest belongs to Kurt Sutter and the rest of the fabulous SOA crew!**

Natalie stood in the bathroom of Diosa, her eyes fixated on the rolled up bill that Ima was attempting to hand to her. The familiar feeling of desire to take in the tiny white line that seemed to be calling her name was overwhelming, it was mentally exhausting for her to resist and there were a few split seconds she barely could.

"Hurry up before I finish it" Ima tapped her foot impatiently.

Natalie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. as great as it would feel to catch a high right now, she didn't want to be that girl anymore. To many things in her life had been screwed up because of her addiction to that shit! if her last boyfriend wouldn't have introduced her to it she would probably have graduated with honours and a degree in social work by now. She took a step back from the poison that helped ruin her life and shook her head.

"suit yourself, more for me" Ima said before sticking the straw like bill into her nose and sucking back the powdered drug.

Natalie sat down on the lid of the toilet seat to try and stop her head from spinning, she did it. It had been six months since she had been clean of that junk and today was the first time that she was exposed to it and turned it down. Her mouth felt dry and her hands were a bit shaky, but she was proud of herself.

"I needed it anyways, this guy I'm supposed to shoot with tonight is a real piece of work" Ima's voice was muffled as she tried to clean her nose of any evidence

"I'm sure he's not as bad as Troy, I've never had such a hard time faking it in my life" a small laugh escaped Natalie's lips as she rolled her eyes

"At least you don't have to fuck them" Ima said in between applying her lipstick

"If I want a big pay out, I do" Natalie tried to pleaded to her. It was true though, the only difference between being a porn star and an escort was the small fact that there was no filming allowed when she was sleeping with them.

"Yeah but don't you get to decide whether or not you want to go out with this guy?" Ima packed up her makeup in her purse and cleaned off the counter

"Kind of, I mean if there's a major problem I can talk to Nero about it" Natalie looked at her reflection in the mirror and forced a smile on her face "but Troy pays more for one night then I could make in five"

"We'll then I guess your going to have to suck it up" Ima gave her a pat on the back before looking at the time on her cellphone. "I've got to go, cock calls" she said only half joking and heading out of the bathroom towards the parking lot.

"I'll see you tonight at your wrap up party" Natalie called out to her before Ima became just a shadow on the wall. Natalie popped a mint tic tac into her mouth then headed into the lobby of Diosa to find out when she was scheduled to see Troy next.

_LATER THAT NIGHT_

The parking lot of the porn studio was packed, it felt as if almost all of Charming was about to attend the wrap up party. After five minutes of looking around for a good spot to park, Natalie managed to squeeze her silver 2012 ford focus in between a blue Honda and what reminded her of a black pervert van. She pulled up the top of her cherry red tank top to try and hide a bit of cleavage, then got out of the car and headed into the warehouse to congratulate Ima on her knew jack off movie.

It didn't take long to find the blonde in a room full of people, she was the one in the skimpiest of outfits and the biggest bitch look on her face. Apparently her night was not going as planned, Ima's frown turned into a gigantic grin when Natalie came into sight.

"What took you so long?" Ima asked with a great full look on her face

"I had to squeeze my boobs into this" Natalie pointed to her top.

"Ok, I forgive you! But let's take some shots, you need to catch up" Ima grabbed her hand and lead her to the bar, before Natalie could say anything there were already 3 shots of tequila lined up in front of her. She took a deep breath before dumping the first shot of burning liquid down her throat, before the warmth could make its way to her stomach it was being joined by two more. Natalie watched as Ima asked for six more shots, tonight was going to be interesting!

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Natalie spent most of the night at the bar taking the shots Ima was feeding her, she was beginning to feel a bit buzzed after the eighth one. The two of them were having a blast getting lost in conversations that led into completely side tracked topics, and turning down the advances of every guy that tried to hit on them. It was turning out to be a great night, until Ima flashed her the small bag in the palm of her hand.

"Want to take this party to my dressing room?" Ima whispered into her ear

Natalie could feel the eagerness brewing up, of course she wanted to. It may very well have been the alcohol that took part in her letting her guard down, but the other part was done by her.

"Let's go" she replied with a sly smile and followed Ima's lead.

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Jackson Teller stood against the wall leading to the dressing rooms with a bottle of jack in one hand and a joint in the other, he wasn't exactly wanting to attend this wrap up party but he felt the need to be there for Ope's widow as support. Plus it gave him an excuse to get out of the house, ever since Tara had been released from prison the homestead wasn't exactly a pleasant place to be. It was like the two of them were complete strangers, even the way she looked at him was different. There was no love in her eyes anymore, Jax was sure that a petition for divorce was going to fall onto his lap any day now. He took a big puff of the lit Mary Jane rolled tightly in between a paper in his left hand, everything he seemed to fight for in his life was crumbling down.

The music pounded in his ears as he watched the crowd of people enjoying their time, he took a swig of jack and contemplated leaving. Lyla was no where to be found and he had been there an hour, there was really no point in him staying. Jax chugged the rest of his bottle and placed it on the table in front of him, he had every intention on making a smooth exit when she hit him..It wasn't exactly a hit, more like a wobbly shoulder bump on both their parts.

"Woah sorry" her voice was stable, but her body language gave away the obviousness of intoxication.

"don't worry darlin'" Jax helped her regain her ground before letting go to see if she could stand on her own. That's when he felt it, the rush of the whiskey that he had been pouring down his throat all night, and the fresh new doe eyed look in her eyes. He was sure that he had never seen her before, because if he had he would have remembered a face like that! She was extremely petite but somehow managed to have legs that went on for days, he pictured them wrapped around him and found himself grinning mischievously.

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Natalie didn't fully realize just how much effect the tequila had taken on her until she found herself tripping over her own two feet and into the blonde haired stranger next to her. Her face flushed a tint of red as he helped her stand her ground and lingered. He was handsome, not her usual type but that made him so much more intriguing.

"Thanks" she said taking a minute to process everything while her head began to spin.

"Come on Natalie" Ima grabbed her arm and began pulling her towards the back room

"I need some air" her voice was shaky

"Can't it wait two seconds?" Ima whined

"I was just about to get some myself" Natalie was glad when the cute guy interrupted and stood in front of Ima

Ima shot a glaring look at Natalie and let go of her arm "fine, come find me when your done" her tone was nasty but she didn't stick around long enough for a response.

Natalie turned around to head out side but stumbled a little bit.

"Easy there" the guy said with a laugh and grabbed her arm to support her

"I've got it" Natalie snapped at him but left her arm wrapped around his. The two of them walked outside where he helped her sit down against the building.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each of them puffing on their cigarettes. Natalie blushed when she caught him staring at her and was thankful when he finally broke the awkward silence.

"So how do you know Ima?"

"we worked together a couple years ago" she said as she flicked her cigarette butt onto the ground in front of her. The expression on his face was priceless, she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I was actually the one who hired her as a waitress" She added deciding to correct any thought he had in his mind about her being involved in the porn business.

"That explains why i haven't seen you before" He laughed and took the last puff of his cigarette.

"I've been here a couple of months" Natalie said as she rested her head against the wall and looked up at the sky, the tequila was beginning to kick her ass right now.

"Where you from" he asked looking over at her

"Does it matter?" The words slipped out before she could even think about what to say, yupp Natalie Paige Mercer was drunk.

"Just making conversation darlin'" he let out a loud chuckle

Natalie opened her eyes and stared at him, here he was keeping her company just trying to talk and she was being an ignorant bitch.

"I'm Natalie" she stuck out her hand for him to shake and smiled

"Jax" he said taking her hand in his and shaking it

He had the bluest eyes she had ever seen, they were gentle yet had a flicker of danger in them. It had been a long time since she was alone with a guy that wasn't paying for her company, it was weird. Something deep inside her screamed for her to get away from him, to just get up and run. Any normal person would listen, heck if she wasn't so drunk she probably would have too. But she didn't, she just sat there with his hand in hers and a smile on her face.

"Do you want to get out of here?

**what do you think? I welcome all sorts of feedback! Thanks for reading guys!**


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